I am an artist, a creator. I have always been a creator. But, it took me a long time to fully accept the term 'artist'. And some, unfortunately, still find themselves in this same place.
I recall my early years exploring digital art when I first stumbled upon free digital art software, namely Blender 3D, Terragen, and a couple fractal art programs. It was all new and cool to me, and I couldn't believe what was freely accessible at the time. Prior to this, digital art was not even on my radar. I was happy writing music and playing video games with my kids.
But it was shortly thereafter that I also discovered Renderosity and the multitude of art galleries and forums that were all bustling with activity. I quickly found myself enthralled with learning ways to create digitally and share with and learn from others.
The artists on Renderosity helped me to grow in many ways, and the friendships formed were incredible. And it was during this time that I would hear from many of these folks, "if you create, you are an artist." But, it didn't feel right for myself. Artist. How could I be an artist when I believed my own work was crap...when I was yet an explorer in a vast sea of others doing great work?
But, the title fit. And this is what I didn't see...for a long time. Sure, I spent time trying to emulate what I've seen others create. But, all the while, my own direction was coming through...my own ideas, perception, and style, perhaps. Sure, my work might not have appeared to others as being on par with great works. But, I was creating, and I was ultimately creating for me. I was finding myself and doing the work.
I have created many things over my lifetime that I am very proud of: digital art, poetry, articles, interviews, music and songwriting. Add in clay sculpting, more digital art, design, and now even photography...
And even though I eventually started using the artist tag in places online, and I've accepted some accolades over the years, I still lacked the confidence to fully accept the title. I didn't fully feel it was right. But it was right. And it is right.
I am a creator, I am an artist.
And I hope this early morning rambling reaches those out there who need it.
Nick C Sorbin (Nick Charles) is a former Managing Editor of 9 years for Renderosity's CG Industry News. By day, a mild-mannered Certified Pharmacy Technician working in both home infusion and a hospital ER, contrasting creative outlets as a digital artist, sculptor, musician, singer/songwriter, and Staff Writer for Renderosity Magazine. Read his articles