Go Ahead Amazon... Listen to my Alexa Conversations

Jun 06, 2019 at 02:00 pm by Warlord720

Listen to my Alexa Conversations

I don't know why the two richest men in the world must pick on some of us technology users so much.

Don't they have other things to do?

You know what I mean… Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates, separately as I don't think Bezos seems to be much of a "joiner," tacitly team up to make our lives more wretched and more miserable than they normally would be without tech.

It must be a thing for these guys to single out so many of us tech users for torment because it seems to happen more frequently as time goes on.

First up is Bill Gates… a man I've written about before who just loves to antagonize Windows users while simultaneously saving the world and having nothing to do with the actual development of Windows.

No pass for Bill… he started it all.

Next up is Jeff Bezos and his digital assistant from Hell… Alexa. Yep… the same Alexa I've griped about before. The one that hears all, knows all and rarely does all those things right.

Alright… alright… she does a little better than "rarely" but that doesn't fit my present narrative and in today's world that is all the pretext I need.

It could be worse like Windows Whatever that regularly eats data and not only digitally pissing on your precious data, it will assure you it won't happen again… until it does.

That is no doubt Bill Gates fault (see... here we go again).

Without Mr. Gates, there wouldn't be a Windows to cause such consternation. Never mind that I made a living with the OS… it still pushes back from time to time and my entitled self doesn't like that one bit.

Without Mr. Gates interference in our lives, we wouldn't have horrible updates, lost projects, failing OS drives and gasp… dare I say it out loud… the infernal Xbox that exists for no other reason than deter productivity. No, I don't own one… I just know these things. That why I'm a tech writer… I know things.

All the things I know are quite possibly worthless to the average individual but added up it still means I know things.

And I know, as much as any one man can know these things… that Mr. Gates and Mr. Bezos are messing with us.

Don't bother asking their respective organizations for confirmation or comment as they will act like they have no idea what you are talking about.

It's an insidious plan that's very effective. Screw up a computer or device then sit back and look innocent. Claim you didn't mean it. It was an "unforeseen series of events" that aligned with the heavens and stars to trigger this unfortunate incident.

So, what brought this latest onslaught of digital hate towards arguably the most two most powerful men in the world?

Alexa… that's what.

And not just Alexa. Throw in every Firestick in my house, backyard plus the original Fire TV in my studio. They all started giving me grief at once.

After years of use in some cases.

What happened? Wireless internet connectivity is what happened. Or rather… the lack or stability thereof.

Suddenly, like a thief in the night or worse, a phantom Windows update, all Amazon-based devices started having wi-fi connection problems.

Not just one or two devices but all of them.

Don't even get me started on Alexa! You ask a simple question and you get a red ring and an excuse about being sorry I can't help you right now.

Was it the wireless transmitter? Everything else in my wi-fi driven house is working.

I know wireless is not a simple thing. It has a lot of variables. It's just some of these devices are less than 5 to 6 feet away from the transmitter as the crow flies. (That's a straight line for you city types and no I don't have crows flying indoors… at least not all the time.)

Was it a mass update to the software? Don't have a clue. If so, there was no warning. Maybe Mr. Bezos IS taking a cue from Mr. Gates on this.

So… Amazon… specifically Mr. Bezos… if you want to listen to my latest Alexa conversations then please do so.

I just hope you have a thick skin…

… and no death squads.

M.D. McCallum, aka WarLord, is an international award-winning commercial graphics artist, 3D animator, published author, project director, and webmaster with a freelance career that spans over 20 years.  Now retired, M.D. is currently working part-time on writing and select character development projects. You can learn more about MD on his website.  

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